Echoes In The Darkness
by The Treacle Tart
Summary: *SLASH* Remus Lupin has disappeared. Can Severus Snape and Sirius Black put their differences aside long enough to find him? Are they prepared for what they will find? * COMPLETE*
1. Part One

**Author's Notes: **Many thanks to abagail89 and leftsockarchive for all their help with this fic. I love you both dearly for all you put up with.

**Echoes In The Darkness**

**Part One **

"We don't know where he is. We haven't been able to find so much as a trace."

The Auror's words stung more than they should have. Severus Snape sat staring at her gaunt face, mentally tracing the lines that cut her young features into ones who saw more than her tender years should know. The exhaustion was evident, as was the regret. No one could doubt her sincerity, or her sorrow, as she delivered the words she had been reluctant to say.

'Not so much as a trace.'

Not wanting to think about what he felt when he heard those words, he looked over at the man seated across the table and remained transfixed by the raw pain he saw there. He sat hypnotized by empty grey eyes, quietly watching the litany of emotions that, until that moment, remained repressed. Mesmerized by eyes that died minute by minute as days passed without word, as hope slowly dimmed, until now, when the flame was completely extinguished. No, Sirius Black was never good at hiding his feelings about anything and this was no exception. To be told that your best friend was nowhere to be found was more than anyone should have to bear. Especially after all that had come to pass. Especially now.

'Best Friend,' thought Snape bitterly 'and probably so much more.' He shook himself back into reality. This was not the time to dredge up petty jealously and anger. No… not now.

Now was supposed to be a time of celebration, a time of rejoicing, a time of peace. Deaths on the side of the Light were mercifully low. Black was declared innocent, though Snape thought that perhaps those words should be more clearly defined. Voldemort was destroyed -- vaporized really -- by the hands of Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore in a final battle that could only be classified as spectacularly anti-climactic. The only real bright spot was that Snape had the honor of being personally responsible for the death of Lucius Malfoy. Sitting back now, he could still hear the sound of the bones in Lucius's neck cracking under his tightening fingers. It would give him a whole new respect for the Muggle way of life; nothing done with a wand would have felt as rewarding.

Black should have been enjoying the fact that he finally got to commit the act that stole twelve years of his life-- twelve years spent imprisoned and alone at Azkaban. Snape watched him do it with an odd fascination. It was the first time that Severus Snape could relate to Sirius Black, the first time he understood him. Severus understood hatred. He understood vengeance. He understood the blissful if not deviant joy that comes from seeing the life force of pure evil vanish under a wand. Snape could see the roll call of injustices past that passed through Black's eyes as he cast the spell that would finally destroy one who destroyed so much.

Snape also understood the look after the task was completed-- the sorrow and regret, the grief and anguish, the emptiness and the pointlessness of it all. He watched as Black fell to the ground beside the remains of the man that caused so much pain. Snape watched as Black wept and mourned the loss of the childhood friendship that he cherished. It was more than that though, wasn't it? It was the loss of innocence and youth, the tainting of love and memories, and the complete annihilation of a lifetime amidst it all.

Now, Severus Snape found himself watching Sirius Black again as he was facing yet more loss and adversity-- the loss of his best friend, if not his lover as well, the loss of his last link to the life he once had and the promise of what the rest of his days would hold.

Three months prior, Remus Lupin had been dispatched to gather support for the fight against Voldemort amongst populations of Werewolves and other magical creatures all over Europe. Though the fruits of his labor were apparent in the last few weeks of the battle, no one had actually heard from the man himself. Secrecy was essential if he was to be successful. Everyone knew that, so no one questioned his disappearance. Only when the legions of werewolves, vampires, centaurs, griffins, and so on approached Hogwarts, did anyone know that he was still alive. Stories of the kind stranger with the soft voice and the strong spirit found their way to the ears of the friends and colleagues who thought of him almost daily. When the battle was over, everyone expected him to return in triumphant glory. When he didn't, teams of Aurors were dispatched to all the areas he had been spotted for any evidence of what happened to him. Two hundred people and two months later, they had found nothing. 'Not so much as a trace.'

For the second time in his life, he watched Sirius Black weep and suddenly he found himself envious. Envious because as much as he wanted to, he could never show his emotions as openly. Not that he would have anyway. He'd have to explain why he was weeping and frankly, he couldn't be honest with himself about that, let alone with anyone else. So Severus Snape sat and quietly watched as a man who had survived well over a decade in the hands of Dementors was reduced to tears in a matter of minutes after hearing two sentences.

And in his mind, he wept with him.

* * *

Flames flickered orange and blue.

The sight was a foreign one in the dungeons. Severus Snape enjoyed the cold and the dampness of his residence. Warmth was for the weak. He always found comfort in the dankness and the silence. No one would ever accuse him of setting a cozy fire. But the sought-after isolation his underground dwelling had always offered him in the past was suffocating him now. A chill found its way into his bones and it would not leave him. So he set a small fire in the fireplace -- that's what it was there for, after all -- and he watched as the flames flickered orange and blue.

Guarded hands held a small snifter of brandy. The amber fluid lightly coated the glass as he whirled it around in small circles. The bottle was one that stood unopened for twenty years in his study. He swore he would drink that bottle to its last drop when his arm no longer bore the symbol of the devil incarnate. And yet, though not even the slightest sign of any markings remained on his forearm, he would find his very soul etched with such despair and torment that even this sacred brandy -- the last gift he ever received from his father -- could not touch it.

"So this is freedom… this is happiness," he scoffed aloud. "This is what people died for. This is what a war was fought for." A mirthless laugh escaped his lips. Resisting the urge to throw his glass into the fire, he slowly placed it on the table next to his chair and sat back. Why was he shivering? Why didn't the fire roaring in front of him and the half bottle of vintage brandy running through his system do anything to remove the iciness that touched every pore of his body?

And then there was a knock.

Another phenomenon foreign to these rooms. So foreign in fact Snape wondered if he really heard it at all. Perhaps delusions were the effects of fire and brandy on one who lived too many years in solitude and misery.

There it was again.

Sheer curiosity carried him to the door and utter confusion greeted him as he opened it. Snape was not sure which surprised him more-- the fact that Sirius Black stood in front of him, or the fact that he looked like hell. Eyes once the color of storm cloud were now sunken and lifeless. A once beautiful face was now haggard and drawn. Hair as dark as midnight was now missing the shine and softness that was its trademark. The man in front of him was a specter of the man Severus knew. No. That wasn't the right word. Not a specter but a mockery.

In a small voice, the phantom spoke: "I'm sorry for disturbing you. I was wondering if I could have a moment." Who was this figure speaking? Where were the taunting tones and the haughty inflection? Where was the air of superiority touched with arrogance?

"What do you want?" Severus was left wondering where those words came from. Why wasn't he slamming the door? Why wasn't he jumping at the chance to abuse and torment? Perhaps because he recognized the signs of a broken man. Perhaps because he knew he might as well have been looking in a mirror.

"I need your help." A pause. A nod in reply. A step back opening the way for his nemesis to pass.

Black entered the room and headed straight for the fireplace instinctively seeking warmth and seemingly surprised to find it. He stepped up to the fire and held his hands toward the flames. Snape couldn't help but notice how those hands trembled. Unconsciously he conjured another glass and another chair and offered both to his… guest? Both were accepted without a word.

After several minutes he managed a soft, "Thank you."

Feeling compelled to answer the uncharacteristic timbre, Snape spoke stoically: "Yes… It's an old bottle, and frankly I don't think I could swallow another drop."

"No." Barely a whisper. "… not for the drink… for not throwing me out. For letting me in and hearing what I have to say."

Snape was unsure how to respond to that, so he didn't. "What do you want, Black?"

A sigh. "I need your help."

A sigh. "We established that. Help with what?"

It was time for Sirius Black to look him in the eye, a task Sirius Black had never attempted before. "With finding Remus."

Snape watched Black for several moments before responding. Outwardly he seemed completely genuine, but Snape had to wonder if he honestly believed what he was suggesting was plausible. This may have been the last attempt of a lost man to find his way home. "What makes you think we could succeed where 200 hundred Aurors failed?"

"It's different for us." His voice was gathering strength.

"Care to enlighten me how?"

"We aren't just doing a job-- performing some duty because it is expected of us."

With this remark, Severus had to contend. "That Auror looked like she hadn't slept in days if not weeks. She did not look like someone just performing a duty, she looked like someone who failed at saving a life-- a life she valued and respected." He spoke the words with the solemnity they deserved and chose to ignore the emotion behind them.

Sirius Black, it seemed, would not be swayed. "It's not the same. They didn't know him. They didn't understand him. They were looking for a man they heard stories about. We would be looking for the man we knew him to be, not a profile on paper… we are looking for someone we love. That's the difference."

"I hardly love -- "

Sirius stopped him. "Now is not the time for games so please don't bother, Snape. I know how you feel. I knew it 20 years ago and I know it now."

Snape wondered if Black had lost any sense of reality. "What are you -- "

"Snape… Severus, please. We are too old for this. Remus meant a lot to both of us. If you do not want to admit as much, that is your choice, but I think enough time has been wasted all around. Wasted by our fighting. Wasted by a bunch of Aurors looking for a man they knew nothing about. Wasted by words that were never said because of -- I don't even know --fear, jealousy, hatred. None of it matters now, does it? The only thing that matters is we need to bring him home. I don't know much, and frankly as the days pass I find I know less and less, but I do know that he is out there. I can feel it. I am as sure of it as I have been sure of my innocence and I know that if I don't at least try then I have given up on the one person who I owe the most to. I don't have the ability to do this alone, though I will if I have to. I am not asking you to do this for me or for anyone other than Remus. We need to try. He deserves at least that much."

The grief and honesty in his words were palpable. It was thick in the air and Snape breathed it in and felt it stick to his lungs and for the first time in months he could breathe again. A few words spoken with emotion and fervor ignited something in him, something he thought long dead. Unexpectedly he found he needed to escape the dungeon that was once his refuge and had somehow become his prison. He needed to see daylight and to feel the sun on his sallow skin. He needed to be warm.

Suddenly he had a mission; he had a purpose, and for Severus Snape that meant hope. He smiled a small, careful smile as he thought of it. Hope was not a luxury he often allowed himself. Hope had never visited his dungeon shelter before and it was as out of place there as Sirius Black. It was difficult enough to let Black in, but hope was more dangerous. Black, in spite of everything, could only hurt him physically, possibly emotionally. Hope, on the other hand, could destroy him completely if he allowed it.

But what was life without risks? Hadn't he spent a lifetime walking a fine line between two worlds equally trying to eradicate him?

Sirius sat in silence while Severus contemplated his proposal. Severus looked at the grey form and wondered if they were so different after all. 'Yes… and no.'

It was beside the point, really. It was not about Sirius Black and it was not about Severus Snape. It was about what was right and just. For Severus, where there was once nothingness, there were now choices to be made and actions to be taken. He didn't have to sit in the dark hoping for Death because life had become unbearable. He could take a risk for himself for a change. He could look for Remus and perhaps… perhaps what? Well, he could leave that thought for another day.

One act of courage at a time.


	2. Part Two

**Echoes In The Darkness**

**Part Two**

He had been watching Sirius Black for over an hour now. He watched as he stood on the doorstep to his friend's home, unable to enter. He did not join him at first, choosing to wait in the shadows to give Black time to prepare himself. The Animagus had not entered the home since Lupin had left it all those months ago. Severus did not feel like coddling him, so he decided he would just wait until Black had time to enter and compose himself. But Black never entered. Instead he stood paralyzed facing the door, not even moving his hand towards the latch. Snape decided enough was enough and walked over. He quietly moved in front of Black and opened the door, stepping aside to allow Black entry. He still refused to move.

With a small sigh, Snape entered first. As he walked over the threshold he was immediately surprised by the quiet he found in the house. It had been empty for months, so he wondered why the stillness startled him, why the silence was so unnatural and disturbing. Perhaps that was why Black couldn't enter-- because this house, entrenched in this horrid, deceiving tranquility, was supposed to be full of laughter and music and a soft tenor voice whose gentleness swathed the entrant in warmth and serenity.

For the most part the house looked as he anticipated it would. The home was simple in its décor and furnishings, which he expected considering Lupin lived for most of his life as a nomad. Everything was covered in a light layer of dust. A worn but comfortable looking armchair was situated by a hearth. Next to it stood a small table that held a framed photograph. Inexplicably drawn to it, Snape picked it up, only to find yesterday staring back at him in striped scarves and faded jeans.

Five young faces stared at him. James Potter and Lily Evans smiled; she clung to him lovingly and he pushed his unruly hair from his face. Snape was a little taken aback by how much their son resembled them-- both of them. It seemed only fitting that Harry would be a perfect combination of those two, whose lives where as intertwined as their fingers in this picture.

The image was reminiscent of the last time he saw young Potter-- weeks ago, when the Weasley boy proposed to Hermione Granger at St. Mungo's, where she was detained for two weeks. Potter unceremoniously slipped his fingers in between those of the youngest Weasley, who placed her head on his shoulder as they watched the other couple. Severus had been visiting Hermione at the time, as the two had formed an odd friendship over the last year. He had felt like an intruder then, and he felt like one now, staring at the couple caught in a moment of innocence and pure affection. Though he and James never got along, Lily was nice to him, and seeing her smiling face was almost as painful as it was comforting.

Next to Lily stood Peter Pettigrew, a small smile playing on his lips. Snape remembered a shy boy, seemingly happy to be in the shadows of his more outgoing friends. Yes, seemingly. Snape wondered, somewhat sullenly, if this photograph was taken before or after he turned. When exactly did this boy with the light hair and small eyes become the monster that would betray everyone else in this picture? Everyone he was supposed to have loved? He was once again thrust back to the moment when he had watched the little man die at the hands of the childhood friend who stood next to him in this portrait. And then the former Death Eater -- who saw butchery and inhumanity at its most primitive level -- shivered.

His eyes continued to scan the photo.

Sirius Black. An arm leaning on the shoulder of his young friend, the patented smirk on full rose-pink lips, long hair lightly swaying in a breeze, and clothes, as always, a bit too tight. His magnetism and charm leapt from the frame through that devilish smile. Severus wondered if this boy would ever return as he thought of the man still standing like a statue in the doorway. Those days were not always the happiest for Severus but it was so much easier to resent the man for his behavior than to pity him for his pain.

Finally, with some resignation and every ounce of courage he possessed, he allowed his eyes to wander the edge of the portrait. He allowed himself to look upon the seraphic face of Remus Lupin, who was holding his books and smiling shyly.

And time stopped.

Twenty years dissolved in seconds before his eyes. In front of him stood the image of Remus laughing with Sirius, tutoring a hopeless Peter in Charms, and teasing James and Lily about catching them in the common room -- again. Severus could see Remus studying under the elms with his books sprawled all around him. He could hear the gentle voice saying his name in that way that always sent shockwaves through his body. Unconsciously, Severus let his thumb glide over the image of the boy whose smile was burned in his memory, whose scent he could still smell… whose honey eyes would look at him and make his day brighter just because they were focused on him for a fraction of a second.

He told himself two decades ago that he was not in love. How could he be? The man was a werewolf, after all, a monster. Yes, a blood thirsty, vicious, monster -- not human. It wasn't without bitterness that he realized the same could be said about him. And what was worse: in his case, it was true. The boy in this picture was no monster and neither was the man he grew up to be. If Severus were truly honest with himself, he would only see the slightest of changes between the boy and the man. Slightly taller, greyer, a few more lines in his face, yes. But still as compassionate, still as kindhearted, still as intelligent… still Remus. He did not allow himself to know the boy, so he never fully understood the man. Now that man was gone and he might never get the chance.

And suddenly it became difficult to breathe again.

It was time to put the picture away. It was time to put the memories away. It was time to do what they came here to do. As if reading his mind, Sirius finally entered the room and stood next to Severus. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he spoke: "Come on, Severus. Let's look around and see what we can find out." His voice was steady but still betrayed his emotions. Severus knew they were feeling the same things but he wasn't sure if he found that as unsettling as he thought he would, as he thought he should. On the contrary actually, he was almost comforted by it.

They set about their task, searching the rooms for any sort of clue or hint that might tell them where Remus might have gone. They were both going on the assumption that Remus was alive but unable to come home. It seemed a stretch, and they both knew that, but neither would say so. It was the only life line either had and to break it would break them into a million little pieces… into dust… into nothing.

They checked inside drawers, underneath the bed, and inside closets. They leafed through books, working in complete quiet, as if any noise would be blasphemy. After nearly four hours they came up with nothing.

They stood facing each other despondently, both wondering what the next step was. After some contemplation, with nothing more than a nod they continued with what they considered the next logical step. Taking out his wand, Severus walked to the walls and started to scan them, looking for any hidden passages or compartments. Sirius started doing the same with the floors. Then the furniture. Then the grounds.

Another five hours and still nothing.

Exhausted and defeated, they sat at the kitchen table. Severus made some tea he found in Lupin's cabinet and they drank. They continued their rite of silence until Snape noticed Black closely examining his cup with a look of bewilderment.

"Is there something wrong with the tea?" he asked, trying to provoke the sardonic Sirius in an attempt to replace the dying one.

"What?" His eyes never left the cup.

"I said is there something wrong with the tea? You are examining the cup as if you expect it to say something to you."

"It is saying something to me."

Perhaps there were some after effects to years in Azkaban after all. "Ah, you have finally lost all sense of reason and are now communicating with dinnerware. Tell me, how long has this been going on?"

Ignoring his words, Sirius got up from the table, went to the cupboard, and started to examine all the cups in the same manner. He tore through all the cabinets until he had scrutinized every cup and glass. With a look of confusion, he sat down again and looked at Severus.

"This isn't his cup."

"Pardon?"

"I said this isn't his cup….Remus carried his life with him whereever he went. Everything of value he kept in his satchel and brought it with him from place to place. He had this cup from his grandmother's china set that he carried around. It was a remembrance of her. He never went anywhere without it." He leaned in to make his point. "It's not here. He took it with him."

"You just said he took it everywhere."

"Exactly. He took it everywhere, along with all the other things that he valued and cherished. The house hardly contains anything of any personal value, anything that he treasured. Except…"

And then he saw it too. "The photograph…"

"Except the photograph."

They both got up and ran to the table. Severus picked up the photograph and studied it again. It was an ordinary picture in an ordinary frame. "Maybe there is a clue in the picture itself, something he wanted us to see."

Sirius took it from his hands and inspected it himself. "Maybe it has to do with when we took the picture?"

"What do you remember?" He allowed the tiniest glimmer of hope to show itself in his words.

Sirius looked at the picture, trying to will something to jump out at him and give him the answers he so desperately needed. He started to speak, slowly. "It was sixth year. Fall. James had just sort of proposed to Lily. No rings, just words. It was the beginning of term. Just before Halloween. Just a few a few days before…" And he paused.

"What? Damn you, a few days before what?"

He let out a sigh. "A few days before the night in the Shrieking Shack."


	3. Part Three

**Echoes In The Darkness**

**Part Three **

Two men stood facing each other and facing a past long since ignored in order to save a third. They would have to travel in time and relive the night that had gone down in their collective history as "The Shrieking Shack Incident". The night where a practical joke could have resulted in death and so much more.

It was finally time.

It was inescapable really. They were destined to be part of each other's lives no matter how much they fought against it. Severus often wondered when this would happen-- when he and Sirius would finally have it out. When they would finally be forced to discuss that night so many lifetimes ago. He had always thought that Dumbledore would force the issue for the sake of the war and their alliance; he never did. They never did. And so it was forgotten, at least outwardly. But some things…some things never really get forgotten.

One night.

One night could change the course of history. That night did. Actions had sent ripples through the oceans. Branches spread out, stretching and splintering, affecting those involved two decades later. Still affecting others, touching distant shores, in ways no one could imagine. Stretching and splintering and touching, reaching a thousand ears as it echoed through time and space and body and mind and soul.

"We need to go over that night in detail -- all of it. It's time to put it out there, for Remus's sake… and probably for our own." Sirius spoke softly, not looking at Severus' face.

Those downcast eyes held remorse. It was a capability Severus did not think Sirius possessed. "It was inevitable," Snape offered. "We at least retain the right to say we did it by choice and not by coercion. It is a small consolation, but considering all the other things we were forced to do, I find solace in knowing we still have some free will."

Sirius seemed to appreciate the sentiment, even if he perhaps did not quite believe it. " I don't know if I'd go so far as to call this free will. Truth be told, I am not terribly comfortable talking about this. I'm not proud of my actions and my reasons won't offer anything significant. Before we start, you have to understand I am truly sorry for what I almost did to you and how it could have affected Remus. I had twelve years to do nothing but think of all the mistakes I made and all the different ways it could have turned out. Suffice it to say, Dementors don't leave room for happy endings, so none of the scenarios held much pleasure."

Severus simply nodded. A peculiar numbness swept over him at these words. He felt no sympathy or compassion, which was not unusual in his dealings with Sirius. But, he also felt no disdain or anger. He felt nothing. Without a word he returned to the kitchen table and produced another cup of tea. He then sat down and waited for Black to join him.

A few minutes later, a solemn Sirius Black sat across from him and began:

"Life was so simple then, wasn't it. We rode our brooms and played Quidditch in the sun… and we laughed. We snuck out for food…for rendezvous…or just for fun. We scheduled classes around our love affairs. That's how I like to remember it anyway.

"We were four friends who met and found something in each other that we needed so much at that time in our lives. James needed adventure, Peter needed protection, Remus needed companionship, and I needed grounding. We came to school not knowing anyone, and found brothers. We loved each other, Severus. To understand how much you need to understand the difference between knowing you would die for someone and knowing you would kill for them. It was sacrifice and it was self preservation. There was no sense of obligation. It was a love freely given, and accepted, and shared.

"And slowly, over time things started to change. James met Lily and suddenly his adventures were of a different sort. Don't get me wrong, I loved Lily. It was hard to know her and not love her. But as their bond grew the others weakened. Peter and Remus both started looking for whatever it was that James and Lily had. I was content with playing the field, casually dating and fooling around. I had my friends and my love affairs and my games. I saw no need for something deeper.

"But what was enough for me wasn't for them and that's when I noticed it - the looks. You were always looking at us, following us around, lurking in the shadows and waiting. I had always thought you were intent upon getting us in trouble, that you just wanted to catch us doing something to try to get us expelled. But then I noticed that it wasn't us you were looking at, it was him. It was Remus. You were looking at Remus the way James looked at Lily. Then something in me snapped. You weren't just looking at Remus; you were looking at _my_ Remus. And to make matters worse, my Remus was looking at you.

"It was in a moment of jealous lucidity that I realized I loved Remus. I realized that the reason I never wanted to get close to anyone else was because I had what I wanted. I had Remus' attentions and affection and, because of his secret, I had no fear of anyone taking him from me. He needed me, after all.

"He always said that our Animagus forms kept him human, that it tamed the monster within, but I've often wondered how true that was. He was so calm and gentle, and so in control of himself. No, I often wondered if it was not his nature and his personality that tamed us. I know it did me. So subtly and slowly in fact, that I did not realize what it meant to me until I saw that it might be taken away. So one night, just before his transformation, I found you watching him again and I knew I had to put a stop to this. I walked over to you and confronted you."

_What are you looking at Severus? What do you want Severus? Do you want to know where he goes every month? I'll tell you._

"And I did. And you went. In my mind you would see him transformed; you would run away and you would never look at him again. It wasn't until after I saw James dragging you out of the Whopping Willow and to the castle that I realized I could have killed you… and that the blood would have been on Remus's hands. In taking care of the competition, I would have destroyed the person I thought I was trying to protect. I found out too late that he did not need protection from you. He needed it from me.

"Remus wouldn't talk to me for a long time after that. He was disgusted with me. Though he never said why, I knew it was because I ruined his chances with you. It would be a while before he would offer any kind of forgiveness. In the end, I think he gave in because he needed the closeness, and my actions made certain that making new friends was even more of an impossibility than ever. I never got a chance to tell him how I felt and, in truth, he was never really interested in my reasons. His renewed friendship was a long, hard-fought battle and it was too delicate to chance revealing my feelings, so I had to be satisfied with still having him in my life in any capacity at all. And then…and then came Voldemort and the rest is history."

Two men stood facing each other. One sat with an expressionless face, and the other with tears in his eyes, both in pain. Through a window, they could see the sun beginning to set behind the trees, marking the waning day-- a day already too long and emotional. And it was only beginning.

* * *

"I find it ironic that you remember that time in our lives with images of laughter and joy. For me it was a time of emptiness and isolation. I was trained from birth to understand the complexities of rank and order, of the hierarchy instilled in the wizarding world and the importance of power and strength. By the time I entered school I was half way to being a Death Eater, though I didn't know that's what I was being primed for.

"I found classes boring as I was already so far ahead of everyone else. I had no aptitude for sports and had been Apparating since I was nine, so I found flying on a broom infantile. And as far as friendships go….Slytherin is a house where relationships are based on your place in the societal strata. I had friends because of who my father was and nothing more. I accepted that because, frankly, I knew no other way. That is until the four of you came along.

"At first I would watch you as if you were an experiment. I was trying to decipher which components, which… ingredients made up your bond, as if you were a potion I was developing. James was the leader. He was the smartest and the most athletic. He was the base of the potion, the center to which all other parts were added. You were the catalyst, the adventurer; you prompted and provoked the others to action. Peter was the enhancer supporting your actions. And Remus…..Remus was the stabilizer. Four fragments complimented each other to make a perfect whole.

"Until I saw you I thought I understood the workings of the world. I was content with my life and the path I was following. Then, quite suddenly, I realized that my life was missing something -- that though I was content, I was never happy. I watched you in a vain attempt to determine whatever it was that you had that I did not. James was the base. I was just as intelligent if not more so. I was a leader in my own house. I felt we were comparable so it couldn't have been that…it couldn't have been him. Everyone else in my house was more than willing to be a catalyst, inciting misdeeds and escapades. And those who where not catalysts were enhancers; they had the fervor but not the imagination.

"What I didn't have was a stabilizer, a counter balance. To be that kind and compassionate was seen as weakness. Even if there was someone who could act as the calming force, they would not, lest they lose social standing. Losing status is tantamount to declaring a love of Muggles. You might as well snap your wand.

"So needless to say I found Remus worthy of note. I wanted to understand who he was and why. The four of you traveled around in a pack so I never really had the opportunity to do anything other than observe. One thing I noticed was that he would periodically vanish for a few days. Whenever he returned he seemed inexplicably fatigued.

"It was during one of these mysterious disappearances that you found me and offered me an answer. I had no reason to trust you but I did. More the fool I, but my need to discover the truth about Remus seemed to override my usual mistrust of anything Gryffindor. I bypassed the Whomping Willow as per your instructions and walked down a corridor until I found a door. I heard scratching and moaning and I began to panic…I thought he was being….I thought he was in danger so I opened the door only to find a monster staring , in brown fur matted with blood on its arms and jagged teeth dripping crimson. This massive beast was so big it seemed to fill the entire room.

"It turned to me and began to advance, but I never moved. I was looking for a sign of Remus, anywhere in the room. I thought the monster had found him before I could….. I had raised my wand and the next thing I remember, I found myself thrown back into the corridor, the door hastily slammed and barricaded in front of me. As I was being dragged out of the passageway I could hear the beast rage against the door, clawing and howling in an attempt to break free. We were outside and nearing the castle when I finally realized James had got me out. He looked as startled as I felt.

"We walked in silence. My wand was still drawn when we reached Dumbledore. I thought James was going to turn me in for being out after curfew, but instead he was explaining to the Headmaster that I had seen Remus. It wasn't until then that I realized that the creature I saw was Remus. Remus was a werewolf. And he could have killed me. And you sent me to him.

"Dumbledore asked me in that subtle yet unassailable way he has about him to keep my revelation to myself, that Remus's very life depended upon it. I was in such shock that I gave my word. Later I would find myself in my bed trying to comprehend all that had happened. My life was suddenly turned inside out and I blamed all of you for that. You for putting me there and James for getting me out, but I blamed Remus most of all, because of who he was. No, none of that makes sense. I understand my motivation less now than I did back then. I only knew that the world no longer made sense. And you were right, I stopped looking at Remus after that. I don't know what I felt. I just knew I was no closer to finding the answers I was looking for. Instead, I was left with more questions. Questions I have not yet found answers to, twenty years later."

* * *

Sirius stared at Severus for a long time after he had finished speaking. He had not expected the Potions Master to reveal so much. And, though he came just short of declaring any intimate emotions in regard to Remus, he guessed they were implied-- by his presence in Remus's home, in his willingness to listen to what Sirius had to say, and in the fact that he reciprocated with such honesty.

"I'm not sure what I should say now," he said honestly. "'Sorry' seems entirely insufficient."

"It would be, were I looking for your pity. Or if you were seeking absolution. But that was not the point of this exercise. The point was to remember as much as we could to try to interpret the significance of this picture remaining here when it was spent the last two decades at Remus's side. So far I think we have come up short."

Sirius stopped to look at the picture again before speaking. "We were only looking at it from our point of view, but Remus wouldn't have left a clue based on our recollections of our own lives. He would really have little knowledge of that, especially considering all we kept from him. If this really was meant as a clue, he would do it based on his own memories of that time. We're looking at that night in terms of how it affected us and not how it affected him. Maybe the secret lies in that."

Severus looked at Sirius with a look of sheer confusion. "That is a sound assessment of the situation," he said.

"You seem surprised."

"I am."

"I'm not an idiot you know."

"I'm beginning to see that."

It was Sirius's turn to stare at Severus with a look of sheer confusion. "Was that a compliment?"

"Don't get carried away, Black. I was merely suggesting that you are not as much of a dolt as I had originally thought. That, perhaps, you are not completely useless."

Sirius allowed himself a small smile.

They returned to their tea in quiet contemplation of all that had transpired. It was a lot to process, but it would seem there would be yet another trip into the past before they could look into the present. Or hopefully, into the future.


	4. Part Four

**Echoes In The Darkness**

**Part Four**

What is it that artists say? Shadows create depth? Severus Snape wondered if that was what happened to Sirius Black. If a child of frivolity and merriment spends a quantity of his lifetime immersed in shadows and darkness, could it change him, irrevocably, into a man of profundity and measure? And is it better to lose that child to that man, that frivolity to that profundity, that merriment to that measure? Severus was not sure. Since Black first came to him with his proposal to seek out Lupin, Severus waited for that child to re-emerge. Instead he was left simply watching the man and uncovering more levels, watching Black as he worked through his theories.

"Remus had to know that only one of us would realize this was a clue. We were the only ones who would truly understand the significance of this picture being left behind, and only one of us would remember what was happening during that time in our lives." He began to tap his fingers on the table. "It stands to reason then, that Remus had to know it was something about his life that we would be able to figure out. We need to try to remember his reactions and his movements before and after the incident." Severus continued to look at Black with incredulity as he spoke. As Black continued his attempt to ascertain the meaning of the photograph, Severus was left wondering what potential this man could have had if he had not spent so much time in the company of soul-devouring Dementors.

"Remus was a good student in most subjects," he continued. "Except potions. I think the smell of the ingredients overloaded his senses. That didn't change much after that night; if anything, he studied more. His eating habits were the same. I never saw someone eat so much and never gain an ounce." Sirius smiled, apparently remembering the more happy and intimate details of his companion. "That damn werewolf metabolism, I suppose," he quipped. "He kept the habit of waking up before dawn. Something about needing to see the sun rise to help him get on with this day…"

Sirius paused after speaking those words. His shoulders seemed to drop slightly as his eyelids lowered to half mast. Snape watched him, recognizing the look of a man lost in a painful but precious memory -- afraid to go forward but more afraid to leave it behind. And yet again, Severus was struck with the realization of how little the man before him resembled the boy he knew in that other life. Searching his own memory, he decided it was time to add to the recollections.

"He used to go out more before that night. As a matter of fact, other than meals, I rarely saw him out, even at the library; and he used to spend as much time there as Granger."

Sirius smiled. "It's true. Remus was always a book worm….his books. Maybe there is something in his books."

Severus merely shook his head. "We already searched his library. No letters stuck between pages. No underlined passages."

"Maybe there's something in the titles."

"An interesting thought," he commented, an eyebrow raised.

Together they scanned the titles in Remus's small library: Dark Arts texts he used in class; Muggle novels; reference books on transfiguration, magical beasts and Quidditch.

"Now that's odd." Sirius slowly scanned the pages of _Quidditch Through The Ages_.

"What?"

"Well, Remus wasn't really a big fan of the sport. He used to play around a little when the rest of us wanted to play and root us on when we had matches, but he never really had an interest. Definitely not enough to have a book on the subject."

"Perhaps it was a gift."

"Maybe." Sirius took the book back with him to the dining room and sat down, still glancing over the pages.

After another twenty minutes, when he finally decided the library was not going to offer him anything else, Severus joined him. "Can you think of anything else that might be useful? Something that wasn't the same after that night."

Sirius thought for a moment. "Before the incident Remus was probably his most open with other people. He had started to develop other relationships with classmates. Afterwards, he inverted back into himself, pretty much shutting everyone out other than James and Peter. It would be a full year before he spoke to me again on any personal level. He only just tolerated my existence, actually."

"There was another," Severus added slowly.

Sirius looked up with a knitted brow. "What?"

"There was another person he was seen around with. Another person he kept up a relationship with."

"Who?"

"Maura Hooch."

Sirius sat up. "You're right. I forgot about her. It would explain this, wouldn't it?" He put the book down. "They became friends in fourth or fifth year. They were pretty close now that I think about it; if he wasn't with us, he was with her. You remembered that, huh?"

"Well, they did spend a lot of time together. I believe they were still in close contact during the time between finishing Hogwarts and when he came back to teach. I think she suggested him for the position to Albus in the first place. From what I understand they were very close friends right up until the moment she was killed in the last Death Eater attack on Hogwarts. I recall Albus saying she called Remus' name right before she passed." Severus kept his eyes downcast. "Is it possible that they were more than just friends?"

Sirius couldn't help but smile at all that question implied. "Anything's possible I suppose, but I doubt it. His tastes did not run that way and I believe hers didn't either. They remained close, even here?"

"They would often go for walks in the evening or take meals together. I think she would even visit him in his cottage during holidays. Neither had any family to speak of."

Sirius' smile grew. "I thought you said you stopped looking."

"I did …I never said I stopped caring." He breathed the words through a whisper that was almost swallowed by the very air around it.

The faint answer made chills run down Sirius' back and his own response came unbidden. "You did love him, didn't you? I wasn't crazy? I did see that there was something going on there?"

Severus took a deep breath and replied, "I do not know what you think you saw so I am in no place to make speculations. As for you not being crazy, that is a matter of opinion. In regards to my feelings for Remus, they are none of your concern."

"I know it is none of my business and you have no reason to tell me. Merlin knows I gave you enough reason not to confide anything in me. But don't you think it's time to stop hiding behind pretenses and pride?" His words were full of sympathy, not anger. "Don't you think it's time to stop casting your feelings aside as if they don't matter? Did you love him once?"

A long pause. "I don't know."

"How could you not know?"

"How could I?" Severus sat back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face. He got up and walked to the other side of the room. Emotions. So many emotions. Why was it whenever he thought of Rem-- …Lupin, he found himself drowning in sentiments and feelings? Why was it he felt the need to talk about it now? "I never got the chance to explore anything and frankly, I don't even know if I ever would have. Back then my life was plotted out for me so meticulously I wonder how I ever escaped it. When I finally did, it would be over twelve years before I saw him again and then it all seemed…it seemed too late."

Sirius walked to where Severus stood and tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. "There's nothing plotting your life now. You are free. Free from the mark and free from the control others had over you. You are free to feel your feelings and act upon them."

Severus gave a hollow laugh. "You don't understand, do you? I don't know what I feel because I haven't any idea what love is supposed to feel like."

Sirius looked at Snape almost pitiably. "What do you feel? You must feel something as you are here now. You must feel something for him to tolerate me for as long as you have. What are you feeling right now? When you think of Remus, what do you feel?"

_Feel. To feel. To feel what_? He paused. "Weak and vulnerable," the reply. "Around him, I felt weak and vulnerable." _More feelings_. "And hatred. I hated him for making me feel that way." A bit of venom appeared and vanished. "When I found out what he was, I was irrationally angered because it seemed I had lost something incredibly precious. But it was something I never possessed, so in essence all I lost was the hope of him and that loss was enough to destroy any bit of humanity I possessed." He paused again. _How it did hurt to feel_. "I know that I feared him and feared the control he could have over me. But mostly I feared the knowledge that I wanted to give him that control, freely."

_So much pain, so difficult to feel._ "I wanted him near as much as I wanted to push him away. I wanted to comfort him and destroy him. Every emotion I felt had a direct counter to it." He took a deep breath. _To feel is to hurt._ "So there you have it. Exposed. Powerless. Protective. Hopeful. Terrified. My mind was always clouded. My heart was always disconsolate. My stomach was always…knotted. I would call that insanity and madness." He sank into his chair and shut his eyes.

Sirius reached down and gently lifted Severus' chin in his hands. "I would call that being in love, Severus." _To feel is to hurt._ "And I am sorry that it took so long for you to realize that." _How it hurt to feel._ "I am sorry it took so long for you to understand that those feelings are good feelings, and how much better they can get if you share them with someone. But most of all, Severus, I am sorry that I had any part in denying you the opportunity to experience love with Remus, because I know that the two of you would have been happy together. I am sorry that I was selfish and stupid and ignorant and…I am just so sorry."

Emotions concealed for years were choked out and left naked on the floor of an old cottage in the Welsh countryside, and two old enemies were left staring at each other in silence for the umpteenth time in less than twenty-four hours. Sirius walked away leaving Severus to consider all that had just come to pass. As he replayed all the words that poured from them both in a deluge of sorrow, anger, and regret, Severus Snape looked at the figure of Sirius Black adding wood to the fireplace. Severus was not a man who usually spoke aloud of emotions and love, but despite that, or perhaps because of it and all that had happened in this life the past few years, he found that keeping those sentiments inside was growing impossible.

And, at that moment, the tentative alliance of two adversaries united in a desperate hunt for a third became more than just a search for a man. It became a search for a past that was cherished, a present that was being denied and that deserved to be explored, and a future that could be full of promise and hope and, perhaps, joy for three men who had had so little of that in their lives.


	5. Part Five

**Echoes in the Darkness**

**Part Five **

They were exhausted.

After nearly twenty-one straight hours of searching the house and dissecting any and all possible clues, they were on the verge of collapse.

"I'm done." Sirius dropped the book he was examining and rubbed his hands over his face. His eyes hurt, his neck hurt, everything hurt.

"Giving up already, Black?" Severus smirked.

"For today at least. I have nothing left. We should sleep and pick it up again tomorrow?" Sirius would not rise to his bait; he was too tired.

"It is tomorrow." Snape smirked again.

Or maybe he would. "Don't be so damn literal. I know you're tired too, or is yawning a sign of deep contemplation?" he drawled. "Let's just crash for a few hours, and we can try again afterwards."

"Fine." Snape had to agree with Sirius' logic even if he wouldn't tell him so. "You can have the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch."

"I wouldn't advise that. I have attempted to sleep on that couch before and it is not a good idea." He paused to scrutinize the lines in Snape's face. Whether he would admit it or not, he was just as tired. "Look, the bed is big enough. We can share it," Sirius offered.

That earned a raised eyebrow. "I don't think…"

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Please, Severus, for once don't think about it and analyze it and turn it inside out and upside down. Just accept it and go to sleep. I promise to keep my paws to myself."

Severus smiled in spite of himself at the joke. "Very well, but if you snore I will be forced to hex you. Nothing personal, of course."

"Of course," he responded with a short bow.

Sirius fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. But Severus lay awake, confused, unable to look away from the sleeping animagus. Somewhere between a glass of brandy in his quarters and a cup of tea in Lupin's kitchen, he had decided that he really did not know this man who was lying next to him. To punish him for the actions of the child he was twenty years ago was unfair. Despite what others might think, Snape was a passionately fair man, even if he weighted things differently than most.

The man sleeping next to him was dedicated to his friends, loyal to his cause, and committed to preserving them both. His confessions were genuine and full of the shame and guilt he had lived with all that time. That was probably what confused Severus the most. He had not expected to ever hear any kind of apology, let alone find himself willing to accept one. But he was. He was willing to accept it. He was willing to move on and….and what?

This is where he was stuck. What did it all mean? Were they friends? No. But perhaps…No. It would be unreasonable to believe that one day would make that much of a difference. But wasn't that what started it in the first place? Didn't history change because of one day, and could it not change again because of another?

It had been more than a day, though. It had been years. Years of fighting side by side against a force bigger then they were -- bigger than the hate, bigger than the memories, and bigger than anything that they were going through personally because the world was in jeopardy.

They were fighting for survival and fighting for the lives of those they treasured. Fighting for the innocence of children not yet born and the lives of those who survived a lifetime knowing nothing but violence and war. And now, now that they had won, it was time to figure out what they were fighting for in the first place. A war fought for decades on battlefields left charred and covered in debris from a thousand battles: the Light against the Dark, Harry Potter against Tom Riddle, Severus Snape against Sirius Black, Severus Snape against himself. Somewhere along the way, the line between what was right, and what was wrong, and what was just, blurred and distorted until everyone was left afraid to ask questions because they were not prepared to deal with the answers.

Not long ago Sirius spoke of time wasted because of fear and ignorance. Was he just referring to Remus or something else? Hate is nothing but waste, isn't it? Nothing, but energy and time and emotions cast aside, thrown in a pit that grew and festered in its own void. That void was home for Severus for too long. It was time to leave it, but he didn't know how.

Maybe the answer lay within himself, in those places he liked to let himself believe didn't exist. Maybe the answer was lying next to him, in an old acquaintance he was beginning to discover for the first time. Or maybe the answer was lost somewhere in the distance, held in the hands of a man who never knew he had it. Maybe the answer was all of these. Maybe it was none. But if this day would yield anything, it would be that he needed to find that answer wherever it may be.

He awoke to a pair of stone grey eyes watching him.

"Can I ask what you find so interesting?"

Sirius clearly wondered how Snape always managed to sound exasperated at the world even through a sleep-filled voice. He had to give him credit for being consistent. "You look like a different person when you sleep. Did you know that?"

For the love of… "As I have not yet mastered the art of watching myself sleep, no, I was not aware of the fact."

Sirius ignored him and continued talking through a coy smile. "Your face completely relaxes and all those small lines around your eyes and mouth vanish. Even your snarl disappears. You know, I thought it was a permanent part of your face. I swear you look fifteen years younger."

"I see. Well, since I am no longer asleep and my face has returned to its customary aged, decrepit state, I will get up," Severus commented absently.

He began to rise and almost missed Sirius' soft reply. "You're not decrepit."

"Pardon?"

"I never said you were decrepit," Sirius stated. "All I said was you could almost pass for attractive when you sleep."

Black just earned a second raised eyebrow. "Was that a compliment?"

Sirius grinned. "Don't get carried away, Snape. I was merely suggesting that you are not as much of a troll as I had originally thought. That perhaps you are not completely repulsive."

"Why, Black! I didn't know you cared," Snape snorted.

He cocked his head. "Neither did I." Without another word, he got up and went to the toilet. Severus watched him with a mixture of suspicion, annoyance and….curiosity. He shook himself. Thoughts like that would not help anyone, least of all Remus.

Remus.

All thoughts of Sirius' words vanished the second he thought of Remus. He instantly regretted the lightness of the exchange with the Animagus. It seemed almost cruel, actually. Remus was lost or perhaps…..

Not wanting to follow the natural progression of that thought, Severus got up and went into the kitchen. He stopped at the doorway. Fresh hot tea, omelets, toast, marmalade, fruit and even a copy of the Daily Prophet sat neatly set upon the table. Next to the paper was a small card.

_Some supplies to assist you in your endeavors. _

_I am proud of you both._

_Good Luck, _

_Albus_

Severus did not know what annoyed him more: the fact that Dumbledore somehow knew everything that went on or that his damn eyes were probably twinkling when he wrote the card.

"When did you do this?" Severus turned to find a freshly showered and shirtless Sirius Black ogling the mini-banquet. He turned abruptly before the blush in his face was noticed.

He quickly regained his composure. "I had nothing to do with this. Apparently, our omnipotent Headmaster has decided to 'assist us in our endeavors.' And by the way, he is proud of us." He threw the card on the table and began pouring tea into two cups.

Sirius picked up the card and read it. He smiled. "Smarmy bugger, isn't he?" Severus grunted in agreement.

Sirius began to eat ravenously, seeming to realize how hungry he truly was. It had been weeks since he ate a decent meal and Severus knew it was not for the lack of food but for the lack of appetite. Sirius sat sipping his tea, looking as if he was wondering why he was so famished all of a sudden. What had changed? He stared at the man sitting across from him. Apparently a lot.

"You're staring at me again." Snape spoke without actually looking up.

"Sorry. I was thinking," Sirius said, sounding a little embarrassed at being caught.

"Will wonders never cease?" Snape continued to eye _The Daily Prophet_.

Sirius smiled. "Was that a joke? I think you could do better than that."

"Give me time; it's early yet." He finally looked up. There it was again. The lightness. A comfort almost.

Sirius watched the obvious discomfort in Severus's expression and commented, "I know. It's freaking me out as well."

"Pardon?"

"The comfortableness of it all. Two days ago we could barely stand in the same room, and now, we are almost friendly."

Severus sneered. "I haven't hexed you yet. That barely makes us friends."

Apparently, there would be no mercy from Severus today. "I realized that. But considering we have spent almost two days together without killing each other, I consider that a huge step."

"I suppose it is progress. At least we are progressing at something."

"We are making progress." Sirius felt compelled to address Severus's tone. "I feel good about this, Snape. We are on the verge of something. Before, when I felt he was still alive, it was probably more out of hope and need than anything else, although you probably knew that already -- and I do appreciate your helping me, despite it all. But finding that picture tells me we are onto something; we just need to find out what. I feel better this morning than I have in months, like the fog is finally starting to lift."

His enthusiasm and optimism were infectious. As much as enthusiasm and optimism could infect someone like Severus Snape, anyway. He had to agree he also felt better this morning than he had in a long time. Sirius continued to talk. "What's next? Do you have any ideas where we should go from here?'

"My immediate future will consist of eating in peace and showering. After that, we could discuss a plan of attack." His head was down again, immersed in the paper.

"Fair enough."

* * *

The water flowed down his body, washing away two days worth of grime and frustration. Droplets of salvation beat against the taut muscles of his neck and back. He thought of Remus and a familiar burning of some long forgotten emotion swelled inside him. All thoughts returned to a picture left casually on a small table in a dusty living room. They tried to remember as much as they could about the circumstances around it but were coming up short. He agreed with Black-- there was something they were missing. The question was: what?

He left the shower and headed to the bedroom. A valise lay on the floor next to the bed. Apparently Albus's package contained fresh clothes as well. For once he was grateful for the old codger's interference. He dressed slowly, carefully buttoning his naked vulnerability away and returning to the detached façade he shared with the world. He tied his wet hair back and went downstairs.

Sirius was seated on the sofa reading _The Daily Prophet_ and finishing the morning's tea. Upon hearing Severus enter the room, he looked up and stared at the Potions master.

"You're doing it again." This was getting ridiculous.

"Doing what?"

"Staring at me. What's wrong now?"

Sirius' expression gave away nothing. "Nothing's wrong, Severus. I'm just not used to seeing you with your hair tied back."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Surprised at the full size of my nose?"

"Not at all….it's a good look for you." He returned to his paper with a smile on his face, leaving Severus to wonder where the insult was hidden.

He watched Sirius reading the paper and realized he was beginning to look a bit more like his old self. His hair shone blue-black in the light of the pending noon sun, his eyes looked inquiring as opposed to ghostly, and his overall demeanor was relaxed and confident. In a word, he was beautiful. Not in the way he was beautiful as a child; Severus doubted he would ever look like that again. Rather, it was a mature beauty, one earned through survival and perseverance and strength.

Severus looked about the room trying to find anything that would break the reverie and refocus his efforts. What had they missed? They seemed to have exhausted every inch of the grounds inside and out. Not unexpectedly, he found himself drawn to the picture on the table. He picked it up again, this time taking it out of the frame hoping to find a letter for note or something inside. He wasn't surprised to find nothing.

He looked again at the smiling face of Remus Lupin. "He seems in good spirits in this picture."

"Why shouldn't he be?" Sirius did not look up as he answered. "It was before everything happened. Before it all changed-- when he still had hope."

Severus shook his head. "It's more than that. It's not just a smile for a picture; it's almost like a smile for the picture taker. Who took this photograph?"

Sirius sat for a moment and thought. "Hooch. Maura Hooch."

"That would explain it." He kept staring into the picture. "What about her? What do we know about her?"

Sirius put the paper down and rubbed his hand over his face in what was quickly becoming a habit. "I'm afraid I don't know much. She was an outstanding flyer and played for the Quidditch team."

"What position?"

"Beater," he answered instantly. "She was fiercely competitive. She once played an entire game with a shattered wrist after getting smashed with an errant bludger."

Severus tried to assess the information. "She _was_ strong willed and resolute."

"I guess you could say that," Black agreed. "I knew she was smart too. Charms, I think, was her topic. She had an odd sense of humor. I don't know… most of us found her strange, but Remus was really taken by her."

"She was not part of your group then, I gather."

"Not really. We occasionally studied together, but for the most part, it was just the two of them. They were very private about their friendship."

"What do you know about their relationship?"

"They became friends in… fifth year, I think, during one Christmas. Remus didn't go home for the holidays, and he didn't want to come with any of us to our houses because he was afraid of our parents finding out about him. He wouldn't hear of us not going home on his account, so he stayed behind alone. She had no family either so she spent those weeks at Hogwarts too. Something happened then but he wouldn't tell us what. They had some sort of secret between them, and they where adamant about keeping it. They had this almost fanatical loyalty between them."

Severus froze and turned to Sirius. "What did you say?"

"They had this almost fanatical loyalty between them."

"Before that."

"They had some sort of secret between them, and they were fierce about keeping it."

"Secrets. They kept secrets."

"Yes?"

"She was a keeper of secrets."

And Sirius understood. "Secret keeper. Oh, dear Merlin." The implications of all his thoughts swept over him. At that moment he was grateful that he was still sitting, because he doubted his legs would function. "She could have been his secret keeper. It makes sense. No one could locate him while he was on his mission. He would need a way to get from site to site without being noticed…But Severus," his mouth went dry, "she died."

"I realize that." Severus swallowed hard.

Sirius' mind was swimming. "What happens when your secret keeper dies and you are still hidden?"

"I have no idea." At that moment the pallid face lost any remnant of color it possessed.

Sirius did not want to hear that Severus had no more to offer than he did. The Fidelius Charm was an old and complicated one. He had never thought of the consequences of the death of the Secret Keeper. The Keeper was the one that was supposed to be safe from harm. Someone had to know. Someone would know. "Only one person might know how to get him back."

Severus looked straight into Black's eyes. "I was just thinking the same thing."


	6. Part Six

**Part Six**

Dumbledore looked at the two men in front of him with an awe and wonderment not often found in his eyes. He was not a man who was easily surprised. It was a refreshing change of pace.

Days ago, his senses told him that Severus and Sirius were searching in vain for Remus. And, even though he felt that they would only become more dispirited than they already were, he did not voice his doubts. Some part of his persistent heart hoped that the partnership would turn into something more, something both men desperately needed.

In many ways it had. Sirius Black had color in his face again. His eyes were wild with excitement over their theory and over the prospect that they had stumbled onto the key to the impossible. His gestures were animated, and it was obvious he was about to burst waiting for a response from his former headmaster. Severus Snape was more subdued, but only Albus Dumbledore, who had seen him at his best and worst, could see the subtle signs that indicated he was as jubilant as his cohort.

Severus carefully chose the emotions he allowed the world to see; most often he hid behind a veneer of anger and exasperation. Today however, his normally sour expression was replaced by a placid one. He spoke with a calm resolve that replaced the usual venom and biting sarcasm that was so often found in his tones. Most telling, however, were his hands -- hands that lay on his lap with his left thumb and forefinger slowly rubbing back and forth. Hands that showed he was anxious and restless. They both sat restlessly waiting to hear what Albus thought, the last vestiges of patience quickly disappearing.

And Albus did have a few thoughts on the subject, though he wondered if he would be telling them what they wanted to hear. He hated this part -- disappointing the children. How often had he told himself that he was sparing them by only telling them the things they truly needed to know? How often had he told himself that the world could be such a cruel place and youth and innocence so fleeting that he was only protecting them? But these were not children. They hadn't been for a long, long time. They were men. They were soldiers. They deserved to know his feelings on their theory; the inevitable could only be postponed for so long.

"Your theory is a compelling one." His voice, raspy and dry, cracked, an outward sign of a life nearing the end of a remarkable journey. "It is possible that Madame Hooch convinced Remus that she could protect him in this way. She was an expert in Charms. It most probably would have been her idea, and she would have been the one who executed the charm." He paused. _Yes, the inevitable_. "There does appear to be a few problems with your speculations, however." Another pause to allow the gravity of those words to settle seemed an eternity to the hopeful. "Firstly, the charm was meant to hide someone in a specific spot. Remus was traveling, so the charm would have to have been modified to allow for movement. Changing the charm, even slightly, would make it an entirely new charm, meaning the rules that applied to the old charm would no longer be relevant. In the original Fidelius Charm, if the Secret Keeper dies, the person in hiding would be released unless the charm was set to automatically transfer to another person. Considering that no one has come forward, I must conclude that they did not take that precaution, or the back-up died as well."

"So if she was his Secret Keeper, then Remus would have been released upon her death and would no longer be in hiding," Sirius asked, his voice refusing to show the slightest hint of concern, though his face was not as convincing.

"Correct."

Snape knew Dumbledore well enough to know there was more. "Albus," he asked in his customary drawl, "what could happen if they had altered the Charm?"

Albus stiffened, and Snape noticed there was no trace of the twinkle in those ancient blue eyes.

Albus sighed. "If they altered the charm, there is a possibility that Remus would never be released. There is a possibility that he would remain hidden…forever."

Sirius was dumbstruck. "You said Maura was an expert."

"She was," Albus contended. "She was next in line to be our Charms master when Filius retired."

"As an expert, wouldn't she have known that there was the danger of trapping Remus?" Sirius asked, his voice rising steadily, displaying the emotions he was never good at hiding.

"Possibly."

"So there is a chance that she altered the charm further in case something should come to pass."

"There is always a chance," Albus replied, his voice full of sorrow. "But one has to wonder how much time they actually had and if it was something she thought could happen." He took a moment to stare at the two men in front of him. "She would not be the only person who thought herself invincible."

Sirius was struggling to maintain control over his emotions, over the situation, over anything. "Maura loved Remus. She would never endanger him."

Dumbledore was struggling as well. "Not purposely, of course. But who is to say it wasn't something they overlooked?"

"Because she was devoted to Remus. That should be enough of a reason. She wouldn't be careless. If she was capable enough of altering the Charm in the first place, she would be capable enough to make a back door for Remus, wouldn't she?"

"Whether she had the ability is not in question." Albus said evenly, seeing that Sirius was not handling the discussion well. "What is in question is whether or not she had the time to do it, and if she even considered the possibility that something would happen to her."

Severus listened to the exchange in silence, carefully absorbing the words that volleyed through the air. Voices were getting frantic, and the optimism that once permeated the room was quickly vanishing. "If I may interrupt for a moment." Both men looked at him with a start, as if they had forgotten he was even in the room. "No one was safe then, Albus," he said in an unexpectedly soft voice. "We were all painfully aware that we could be next, especially since we were at Hogwarts with everyone Voldemort either wanted to join him or whom he wanted dead and out of the way. Let us go on the assumption that they did account for the possibility, as they were both well aware of the danger we were all in. If they did alter the Charm, what could they have done to ensure Remus had a way back?"

Albus wondered when he had turned into the pragmatist, and Severus into the idealist. "There are a few things, I suppose. They could reintroduce the default release, but again, no one came forward, and he is still missing. So chances are they chose another route." He paused to gather his thoughts. "They could have added another charm to the first with a portal for his liberty."

"What kind of Charm?" Sirius was getting excited again.

"An incantation or enchantment that would allow someone else to liberate him."

Severus spoke up again: "You once told me, that as she lay dying, she said his name."

Albus simply nodded.

"Did she say anything else or make any movements?"

"Not that I remember." _I'm sorry, child._

Sirius heard the words that were spoken, and the ones that were not. All this was, was another wall. He and Severus had faced enough of them. But Sirius was a quick learner; if you can't go through it, you go around. He had a thought. "Headmaster, do you know how they first met that Christmas break in fourth year."

"I do," he replied slowly.

"Something happened that neither would ever talk about, something that made them loyal friends. Do you know what it was?"

He hesitated. "I do."

"Perhaps, the answer is there."

Albus remained silent, his eyes guarded and his hands making tight fists. Severus recognized the stance and also recognized it meant there was a story hidden behind it. _Sorry, headmaster, but we have come too far to stop now. _He spoke slowly. "Headmaster, I realize it was something that no one else was meant to hear, otherwise we would have found out. I think in this situation, however, it could help us. I think Remus and Madame Hooch would understand if you told us because we are only looking to help him. If they did do all that we think they did, it was done in the name of loyalty and friendship, and they would understand us doing the same…please, Albus."

There was pain and sorrow, regret and… fear, emotions Albus could only remember hearing in Snape's voice once before, the night he turned from Voldemort and came home.

Albus Dumbledore was a man who never broke a promise, but his first promise was to protect all those in his care. That promise superceded all others. It was that promise that allowed him to even consider the possibility of breaking a decades-old pledge he made to two young children who had been through so much. He let out a long deep sigh. Some choices were really not choices at all. He would break a confidence to save a life, and hopefully he would be forgiven.

"It was a very long time ago," he began. "Voldemort was slowly gaining power, turning one person at a time to his side. There was a group here at the school at the time looking for candidates, a group of Seventh Years lead by Evan Rosier. Maura Hooch was a charms prodigy, and she was an athlete with astounding flying skills. It was an intriguing combination for a man aspiring to take over the world.

"It was the day after Christmas, and the school was empty save a handful of students, including Maura and Remus. Remus kept mostly to himself, as did Maura. On the night of the full moon, Remus decided to go to the Shack early, as he was planning on studying there before his transformation. On his way, he noticed a group of people leaving the Castle, and they were dragging something large, wrapped in a blanket. He hid behind some shrubbery to keep from being spotted, and then planned to run to the Shack…..until he saw the blanket move. The blanket moved again, and this time he saw Evan Rosier kick it and he heard a whimper-- a decidedly female whimper.

"He had no time to run for help, so he followed them. They came to a clearing in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. The boys unwrapped the blanket to reveal Maura Hooch. It appeared she had been brutalized quite severely. Remus watched as they taunted her, telling her she was in for much worse if she did not agree to join them. She refused to speak. Within minutes, six hooded figures entered the clearing -- Death Eaters -- and they wanted Maura Hooch.

"Remus started to panic for the girl but was afraid of what would happen to her if he left and went for help. There was no assurance that they would be there when he returned. To make matters worse, the moon was about to rise. It was then that he made a decision. He remained…. and he transformed….and he attacked.

"A werewolf ran into the clearing and managed to kill two Death Eaters before the rest ran off. When they were alone, the wolf walked to Maura and stood next to her. He stood guard until the sun came up, making sure no one else touched her. She waited for him to transform and together they came to see me.

"You can imagine this caused a bit of a dilemma. If we punished Evan Rosier and his group, we would have had to explain what happened that night. It would not have mattered that Remus was protecting Maura; it would not have mattered what they did to her. They would have found out about Remus, and he would have been destroyed. He was willing to face that…. but she was not. She begged me to keep him safe. I did and have done all I can to protect them both all these years."

Sirius paled more and more as Dumbledore told his tale. It simply was not true—it could not be true. In a hoarse voice, he whispered, "Remus killed?"

"Yes, he did," the headmaster replied, the disbelief showing in his own words.

It was hard for anyone in the room to picture the gentle Remus Lupin as a killer. Remus, with his easy smile and shy disposition, was not a murderer. How easy it was to forget that he harbored a beast in his very skin. But it explained so much about their bond. Severus remembered a conversation with Sirius that seemed to have occurred a lifetime ago. 'We loved each other, Severus. To understand how much you need to understand the difference between knowing you would die for someone and knowing you would kill for them.'

Sirius was thinking the same thing. "To save her? He killed to save her life, to save her from Voldemort."

"Yes."

"What happened after that night?" Sirius asked, staring at the wall behind the headmaster's chair, trying to reconcile his present and his past.

"They were inseparable for the next two weeks," Dumbledore offered. "They spent a lot of time roaming the castle."

"Anywhere in particular?"

Albus paused. "Now that you mention it, yes -- in the dungeons."

Severus looked up in surprise. "Neither was a Slytherin. Why would they be in the dungeons?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted.

"Was there anything in the dungeons that they would be interested in?"

"You would have to tell me, Severus."

Severus closed his eyes and Albus could almost see his thoughts.

Severus spent so much time trying to forget his past, being forced to relive it so vividly now was painful -- emotionally yes – but also physically. He ached. His muscles ached, his head ached, his eyes ached. He could feel the remnants of his nerve endings throb and pulse and pound with pain. Was this what it felt like to purge one's body of decades-old venom and poison? Was this what confession felt like? Absolution? Redemption?

No one liked to think of the dungeons and what dwelt there. Spawning ground to mold, toxins and hate, it would always be the place that took an ambitious Tom Riddle and bred a depraved criminal: Voldemort. Why would Remus be drawn there? What could have been down there?

Severus traveled back in time, his mind crossing two decades to a rumor that had floated around for years—one that had a few of his acquaintances pre-occupied for months. The dungeons were used to store things, sometimes. Things people had no idea where else to place, things people wanted out of the way, much like the Slytherins themselves. What could have attracted them so, that they frequented a place that could have been dangerous? There was something. "Yes, there was something down there. Something stored in the back rooms only a few of us knew about."

"What? Severus, what?" Sirius couldn't read the look in his eyes.

"The Mirror of Erised."


	7. Part Seven

**Part Seven **

"The Mirror of Erised?" Sirius Black asked, unsure of its significance.

Albus Dumbledore sat in silence, trying to ascertain the connotations of Severus' statement. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"You have to remember, I was in Slytherin and was immersed in the crusade to gather strength through _volunteers_. Voldemort was making promises of power and immortality. What better way to get people who craved those things above all to join your cause than to have them stand before a mirror that showed their deepest desires? If I recall, Albus, that was the year the Mirror came into your possession-- a donation from Llano Malfoy, Lucius's grandfather."

Albus nodded in reply, still deep in thought.

"Did you see it yourself?" Sirius asked Severus, a far away look in his grey eyes.

"No… I did not need a mirror to tell me my deepest desire."

Sirius made to respond but seemed to think better about it. He turned to the headmaster and asked, "How would Remus and Maura have found out about it?"

"Remus took to following some of the Slytherins around in order to protect Maura. He tried to familiarize himself with any place they might hide. It is a possibility that that's how they discovered it. After the incident the Slytherins stayed their common room. They were not allowed to wander the grounds freely anymore. They were heavily monitored, so Remus and Maura could visit undisturbed. They could have stumbled upon the Mirror once and, like many others, were enticed by the images they saw there."

Sirius was still trying to determine the implications of the Mirror. "Why is the Mirror so important now?"

"Several years ago, in a futile attempt to hide a very precious stone, I used the Mirror. I charmed it to hold the stone and release it only to someone who wanted it but not to use it for themselves. So…"

"So they might have used the Mirror to hide Remus and release him only to someone who would want him back, but not want to hurt him. Is that what you are getting at?"

"It is a possibility," Albus stated carefully.

"Possibility!" Sirius bellowed. "You have two loyal friends who would do anything to protect one another. Remus killed for her, and she allowed her attackers to go free in order to keep him from being destroyed. The fact that Remus didn't kill her on the night he saved her means he claimed her as part of his pack. _Claimed her_, Albus. Remus would never even claim _us_ as part of his pack, because the bond created would be so unfathomably powerful. Add to that the probability that they were both almost certainly intimately knowledgeable about the Mirror and its potential, and that she was a Charms expert as well."

"Sirius, I said it was a possibility." Dumbledore's voice remained cautious. "We are going on speculation. This is all just conjecture. You are assuming that she was his Secret Keeper, that she was able to alter the Fidelius charm to allow for movement, that she had the presence of mind to account for the possibility of her death, and that they used the Mirror of Erised to conceal Remus in case she could not release him. That leaves too many variables to make this reliable. You must bear that in mind. If we go to the Mirror and the result is not what we hope, then we must begin again or…" He paused.

"Or move on…or let it go." Severus spoke in a soft voice.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I know you and Sirius care for Remus very much, but sometimes even the best of intentions can lead to nothing. I will not allow you to look into the Mirror without you both recognizing that it might not yield the results you are looking for. You must be prepared for that prospect. You have both known more disappointment and sorrow than any two people should. I have no doubt that if it should come to pass, you will not give up. But as you are both prepared to keep looking, you must also be prepared to never find him. If you can concede to that honestly, then I will take you both to the Mirror."

Sirius made to reply, but Severus spoke first. "Albus, I am not a man prone to wishful thinking. I have lived a lifetime in the darkness and I am not even sure I know how to be optimistic and hopeful. Sirius and I have spent days discussing several possibilities, some more obscure than others. This one has more potential than anything else we have discussed, and it is worth the chance. I cannot promise that Sirius or I will handle it well, but we will handle it and we will move on if we must. But you have to understand we need to try despite how the results affect us. We owe Remus that. We owe it to him to try anything we can."

Sirius looked at Severus with respect and affection in his eyes, and Albus couldn't help but notice. He was not completely convinced that they were on the right trail, but he could not deny that the search had allowed them to find each other, and perhaps Remus.

It was more than anyone could have hoped for.

Albus left Severus and Sirius alone in the room with the Mirror of Erised, and both men were grateful. They stood looking at the mirror from a safe angle for a good ten minutes, both a little afraid to test out their theory.

"One of us should make a move," Sirius said.

"That would seem appropriate," Severus replied.

"So why don't we? Why are we rooted to these spots, afraid to try?"

Severus paused. "Perhaps we are as afraid of succeeding as we are of failing."

The truthfulness of the words struck Sirius and he gave a small shiver. "What happens if he doesn't come out?"

Severus closed his eyes. "We die…and then we try again."

"What happens if he does?"

Severus opened his eyes. "That is a bit harder to answer."

They looked at each other. They hadn't really spoken of the possibility of success. Now, as they were the closest they had been in months of possibly seeing Remus Lupin again, they didn't really know what to do. Severus knew it was now or never. "How should we do this?" he said, ignoring the question that still hung in the air.

Sirius spoke, "I know that my deepest hope, my deepest desire, is to have Remus home and safe. I know that is yours as well. We should both look in at the same time as that will only make the link stronger. If the gods are with us, he'll come out. That's all we have."

They stood a while longer before Severus broke the silence one more time. "Black… Sirius… during these past few days I have come to think of you as a human being, and though I know that sounds cruel, it is a better estimation than I hold the vast majority of the population. If this doesn't work please know it was not because you didn't try. It was not because you failed him. It just means we have to look elsewhere."

Severus would never know how much those few words meant to Sirius and Sirius would never know how much Severus needed to say them. Sirius walked closer to Severus, and carefully placing his hand on the other's cheek, he leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. Chaste and innocent, soft and compassionate, the kiss was an affirmation of a thousand sentiments left unspoken. He pulled back and took Severus' hand in his, intertwining fingers and hopes. Together they stepped in front of the Mirror and looked inside.

A picture began to form in front of them. Remus Lupin stood next to them smiling and laughing and hugging them. Golden eyes shone like warm honey, glowing with joy and vigor. A smile was there, beaming on a face that somehow managed to retain a boyish charm despite the years and hardships it had known. One hand reached up to Sirius' head and ruffled his hair. Severus felt Sirius' grip tighten as they both waited and faced the image that had rooted itself in their minds for months if not years: someone they loved.

And then, that image changed.

A soft blue light began to glow around the Mirror, and a distant humming could be heard. Slowly the blue light shone brighter, and the hum grew louder. Soon a wave of color and sound pulsated through the room, through Severus and Sirius. Within minutes the room was awash in a hue of electric blue, and the humming was thunderous. All at once, there was a burst of light, akin to the brilliance of the mid-day sun concentrated in one spot, and a forceful, strident boom shook the room…and then, there was silence.

Severus and Sirius tried to focus after the blast as both were slightly blinded by the brightness of the light. As the room started to focus around them, they began to make out a figure in front of them. Remus Lupin stood, no longer an image in a mirror or in their dreams, but a man of flesh and blood and bone. He was looking at his hands as if he was unsure of what he was really seeing. And after what seemed to be a lifetime, he let out a boisterous, barking laugh.

"You did it! You actually did it!" He ran to Sirius Black and threw his arms around his shoulders. "I thought I'd never get out of there. I thought I'd never be free. Oh Sirius! Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Sirius was beyond words as he held his friend in his arms. He was home. Remus was home. And for the first time in a very, very long time, so was Sirius. His heart was pounding so hard he was sure Remus could feel it. He never felt as complete as he did at that moment but strangely enough, something was not right. Cradling Remus in his arms, he looked up to see Severus Snape with a look of complete disbelief in his eyes… and something else.

Tears.

For the first time he could ever remember, Severus Snape stood before him with tears streaming down his face. And at that moment, he knew. It was time to right a wrong. Knowing it may be his only chance, he finally found the words. "I didn't do it alone."

Remus pulled back confused and turned to see the stricken face of Severus Snape. "Severus?"

Sirius took Remus' hand and walked over to the petrified form of Severus Snape. He tenderly placed the werewolf's hand in the Potions master's and gave them both a small squeeze.

"I think you two need to talk." As their eyes locked, he quietly walked away. Without another word he left the room and closed the door.

* * *

Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black sat in Albus Dumbledore's office.

Remus was trying to explain the events that led up to his entrapment in the Mirror of Erised.

"The day before I left for my mission, Maura came to me. She pleaded with me to allow her to be my Secret Keeper, feeling it was the only way to ensure I would make it from site to site safely. I told her it was my understanding that the Fidelius Charm could only keep a person safe in one location. She explained that she could take care of that.

"I always knew Maura was brilliant at Charms but I never knew the extent of her knowledge. She altered the charm to make a sort of shield. I would actually travel within the Mirror to the pre-determined locations. I would be for all intents and purposes invisible to the outside world as I traveled from place to place. Once I reached my destination, I would be able to use a specialized Portkey from the world of the mirror to its counterpart in the real world. Once I had communicated with the appropriate people, I would be concealed again when it was time to move on. I traveled in a sort of frozen reality. I never saw people when I was in transition, only blurred images. I can only describe it as a sort of alternate world that resided in the Mirror. Honestly, I didn't even realize the Mirror could be used in such a way.

"Just as I was leaving, she confided to me that she was not sure if she would survive the War. She always felt that Voldemort had a special vendetta against her and would eventually try to kill her. It was not a completely unfounded fear, but it did tend to make her paranoid. She told me that she knew of a way to keep me safe in the Mirror in the event that she was not able to release me. In the event of her death I would instantly be returned to the world of the Mirror, despite whatever else I was doing. I would be trapped there; the Portkeys would be disabled. Only when someone looked into the Mirror and wanted to have me freed and not harm me, would I be safe. She added that last bit in case Voldemort was looking for revenge of any kind. As I said, she was paranoid but I suppose in the end, it was for the best.

"I had no time to tell anyone of the fail safe and Maura forbid sending the information in a note, even a coded one, so I did the only thing I could think to do. I left behind my most prized possession, a picture from my childhood. I left it with the hope that someone would remember that Maura took the picture and that I was holding Nicolas Flamel's Alchemy book. I hoped someone would connect it with the incident with the Sorcerer's Stone and would realize that's where I was. It is my understanding that that was not necessarily the way events unfolded, but the results were the same nonetheless. I knew Maura would not tell anyone of the plan, so I thought it was my only hope. While in hiding I could not communicate with anyone; the Fidelius Charm prohibits it. I just hoped that the friends who knew me well enough would see that it was a signal. I'm glad I was right."

Albus looked at Remus and smiled. "Child, I can only say you are lucky to be so loved."

Remus blushed slightly and did not look at the others in the room. There was still so much to say.

Albus spoke: "I think it is time for the three of you to rest. Might I suggest somewhere private? I have connected the fireplace here to your cottage, Remus. Perhaps the three of you would like to Floo there now and take a much deserved break. I will inform Harry and the others that you are safe but I will not tell them where you are. I have a feeling you will need the time."

"Thank you, Albus." Remus spoke the words the others felt but were afraid to broadcast.

Recognizing the Headmaster's suggestion as an order, they dutifully obeyed and made to leave. As they made for the fireplace, Albus remained silent. Whatever he was thinking, he did not voice it; instead, he gave the three men a small smile.

A few moments later they found themselves at Remus Lupin's cottage. It had been cleaned since the last time Severus and Sirius had been there, and the kitchen was fully stocked. Several cases stood in the living room. "I suppose those are our clothes," Severus scowled. "How long does he think we are going to be here?"

"Perhaps it's his way of telling us to take our time." Remus seemed amused.

Sirius was the only one who seemed uncomfortable. "Perhaps you would like some time alone. I'll come back in a few days--"

"Sirius, stop." Remus held out his hand to still him. "We need to talk, we all do. Please have a seat and I'll get some tea."

Sirius sat on the couch and Severus in the armchair across from him. Neither said a word.

Remus returned in a few minutes with hot tea. As he poured three cups he spoke. "Sirius, Severus and I had a talk, a very long talk. We talked about how you both managed to find me, and all you had to go through to do so. Let me begin by saying thank you…to you both. I do not doubt that I was only able to come home because of the loyalty and devotion that you both had for me and the incomparable persistence you both possess. I cannot begin to tell you how happy it made me to know you managed to put twenty years of animosity aside for my sake.

"In telling me the story, however, Severus chose to give me some information I was not aware of… some snippets from our past that you both confessed to in an attempt uncover any details from years ago that could help you to find me." Sirius began to respond but Remus stopped him. "Please Sirius. Severus did not tell me anything I did not suspect myself, but his version did illuminate some things for me.

"You need to know that I love you. I have always loved you. You are the single most important person in my life. And now that we are free to actually explore all that that could be, I would like that opportunity to do so. I want to renew our friendship and consider all this world has to offer us. But you also need to understand I have feelings for Severus and have for many years. He and I never had the chance to try before now, and that is something I think also deserves to be explored." He paused, glancing up at his friend. "I have… also… come to understand that much has come to pass between the two of you as of late… I know this is not necessarily the most conventional of arrangements, but I think we are three people who deserve any chance at happiness that we could have and, if you are open to it, I think we should try."

Sirius looked at them both with hope marred with reservation. He was not only being offered a chance at a love that he dreamed about since childhood but also the chance at a love he had only recently discovered meant just as much. He looked at Severus apprehensively. Could he possibly feel the same way?

Sensing his trepidation, Severus spoke. "Sirius, when I finally allowed myself to vocalize my feelings for Remus, I also had to admit that I had feelings for you as well. I am not promising wine and roses and a perfect romance. In all likelihood this ridiculous arrangement will only prove to be disastrous for all involved. But like Remus I am sick and tired of not exploring the possibilities because of fear. I believe it was once said that enough time has been wasted all around." He leaned in and gently placed his hand on Sirius'. "I am grateful you put your own feelings aside for my sake and for Remus', but I think there is enough room for you as well, if it is what you want."

Sirius stared at the hand on his and reveled in the warmth it offered. He looked up at Severus and into his ebony eyes. "Are you sure? You owe me nothing. Not even this chance."

"I owe you everything," Severus replied without hesitation. "Without your insistence, I would not have searched for Remus. Without your encouragement, I would never have admitted the emotions I spent a lifetime hiding away. Without your courage I would not have found my own, and I wouldn't be here today. I would be alone and still in the dark. I realized a while ago that you are no longer the boy I knew so many lifetimes ago, but a man who is worth trying to understand. I think, given time, which we actually have now, we could all find the things we have been looking for. Remus is right. We all deserve to be happy, and this is our chance."

Sirius looked at Remus, then back at Severus, and laughed quietly. "You're right… this will probably end badly, but I'll be damned if I don't try."

At that, Remus leaned in and slid his arms around Sirius' waist. Sirius placed his arms around Remus and proceeded to place a small kiss on his forehead. He looked over at Severus and took his hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it as well. They sat like that for a long while.

Only time would tell if things would work out. But for the first time in any of their memories, three men looked to the future with joy and hope.

And somewhere, many miles away, a pair of cerulean blue eyes twinkled.

**Finis**


End file.
